Caroling in the Caribbean
by Mother Nature's Daughter
Summary: The Twelve Days of Sailing? Bootstrap's Boy? I Want a Jack Sparrow for Christmas? The pirates have invaded the musical world! Come on in and sing along with some pirate parodies of these ten silly songs. Complete.
1. The Twelve Days of Sailing

**Author's Note:** So, here's how we're going to do this. I'll give you the parodied song, and then I'll explain the lyrics to you. I watched both PotC movies and counted to get the numbers right, so I hope you enjoy this. It was pretty hard.

**Disclaimer:** ...

* * *

_On the first day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

A ship to sail the sea.

_On the second day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the third day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the fourth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the fifth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the sixth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Six posters hanging,

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the seventh day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Seven Wills a fighting,

Six posters hanging,

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the eighth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Eight men a sleeping,

Seven Wills a fighting

Six posters hanging,

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the ninth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Nine ships a sinking,

Eight men a sleeping,

Seven Wills a fighting,

Six posters hanging,

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the tenth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Ten monkeys screeching,

Nine ships a sinking,

Eight men a sleeping,

Seven wills a fighting,

Six posters hanging,

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the eleventh day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Eleven pirates pirating,

Ten monkeys screeching,

Nine ships a sinking,

Eight men a sleeping,

Seven Wills a fighting,

Six posters hanging,

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

Two turtle rafts,

and a ship to sail the sea.

_On the twelfth day of sailing my Captain gave to me:_

Twelve cannibals cooking,

Eleven pirates pirating,

Ten monkeys screeching,

Nine ships a sinking,

Eight men a sleeping,

Seven Wills a fighting,

Six posters hanging,

Five bottles of rum...

Four slapped Sparrows,

Three fainting Swanns,

And…

A SHIP TO SAIL THE SEA!

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Okay, now let's take a closer look, savvy?

**A ship to sail the sea: **Put quite simply, it's the _Black Pearl._

**Two turtle rafts: **In the first movie, Jack "rode a couple of sea turtles." In the second, Will found his way to the island by "sea turtles...A pair of 'em, strapped to my boots." Ergo, there were "Two turtle rafts."

**Three fainting Swanns: **Elizabeth Swann "faints" a total of three times in the two movies. Once for real, because of the bloody corset. The other two times were fake -In the end of CotBP, she faints to distract Norrington and her father. And then again in DMC, while the boys were fighting: "Oh the heat! The heat!"

**Four slapped Sparrows: **Jack Sparrow gets slapped four different times in CotBP. Once by Giselle, once by Scarlet, and twice by Anamaria. And, of course, no times in DMC.

**Five bottles of rum: **Pirate ;)

**Six posters hanging: **Alright, just so you know, I did this one out of complete _desperation._ I had all of the days finished, but this one, and had run out of ideas. Then I noticed that there were "six posters hanging" on my wall. All from DMC, and they were the only six I've seen, so I'm assuming that they are the only ones out there for that movie.

**Seven Wills a fighting: **Okay, when I watched the two movies, I counted Will getting a sword fight seven different times. They were as follows:

CotBP:

**1)** In the beginning, with Jack in the blacksmith shop.

**2)** The night Elizabeth gets kidnaped, when the pirates invade Port Royal.

**3)**Towards the end, when Jack's fighting Barbossa, Will's fighting the undead pirate crew.

**4)** At the very end of the movie, when Will helps Jack escape the hangman's noose.

DMC:

**5)**Technically, he's not _sword fighting _the cannibals on Cannibal Island, but he does have his sword drawn, and is swinging it about.

**6)**On the _Flying Dutchman_, with the creepy fish people.

**7)** And lastly, my favorite part of the movie, the three way sword fight involving Jack, Will, and Norrington.

**Eight men a sleeping: **Between the two fo them, Jack and Will get knocked out _cold_ seven different times in the movie. Add Norrington's one time to the mix, and you get eight. And, well, when you're unconscious, you're sleeping. Sort of.

Here are the times the boys are knocked out:

CotBP:

**1)**Mr. Brown breaks his bottle over Jack's head in the smithy.

**2)**Some random pirate -Jacoby, maybe?- hits Will on the back of the head the night they invade the fort.

**3)** Will lays it on Jack with an oar in the pirates' cave, not wanting to be his "leverage." Not very nice of Will.

DMC:

**4)** The cannibals knock out Will, not by hitting him over the head, but by shooting him with a dart.

**5)**Will gets knocked out a second time when one of the _Dutchman's_ crew whacks him a good on.

**6)** Elizabeth "gets the pleasure of doing that herself" when she breaks Norrington's on bottle over his head.

**7)** Jack pretty much knocks _himself_ out when he runs right into the pole on the wheel Will and Norrington are going at it on.

**8)** Poor Will gets knocked out a _third_ time when Jack gets his revenge and smacks him upside the head with an oar.

**Nine ships a sinking: **Between the two movies, nine different ships sink, or at least "run a ground." They are:

CotBP:

**1)** The ship that young Will had been on when young Elizabeth noticed him floating on a piece of driftwood.

**2)** The _Jolly Mon _(The ship Jack sails into Port Royal on, for those of you who didn't know its name.)

**3)** The little longboat that the _Interceptor _runs over on its way out of the bay, carrying both Jack and Will.

**4)**The _Interceptor _explodes.

DMC:

**5)**The Turkish ship that the Kraken eats in the beginning of the movie; the one carrying the people that find Jack's hat.

**6)** The ship that Will assumes to be the _Dutchman_, the one that hit a reef.

**7)**The ship that carries first Elizabeth, then Will. It sinks when Will is on board, after Davy Jones sends the Kraken after it.

**8)**We don't actually _see_ this one sink, but it sunk nonetheless. The ship that pursued Jack and his crew, captained by Norrington; the one that tried to sail through the hurricane mentioned in the movie.

**9)** Last -and most important- the _Black Pearl_ sinks, and the Captain along with it. -sniffles-

**Ten monkeys screeching: **I counted ten screeches released from that blasted undead monkey throughout both movie. I probably missed some, but then I wouldn't have a tenth day, so it works out. I didn't write down when he screeched, so I can't say when he did.

**Eleven pirates pirating: **Yes, I know there are a whole _lot _more pirates in the movie than just _eleven. _After all, it _is_ a pirate movie. But, there were only eleven "major" or what I call, "majorly minor" pirates mentioned that we know the names of and actually have a good number of lines. They are:

**1) **Jack

**2)** Will (If he's not a pirate yet, he's well on his way to becoming one. That, and his daddy's a pirate.)

**3)** Elizabeth (Normally, I wouldn't consider her a pirate, but Jack himself called her one. He knows what he's talking about, so I had to include her.)

**4)**Barbossa

**5)** Pintel

**6) **Ragetti

**7) **Bootstrap Bill

**8) **Gibbs

**9) **Mr. Cotton (He may not have any lines, but his parent talks for him more times than one. 'Sides, he's pretty cool.)

**10) **Davy Jones (Fishface or not, he's still a pirate.)

**11) **Anamaria (The coolest female pirate I've ever heard of -with the exception of myself, of course. -coughs-)

**Twelve cannibals cooking: **This isn't an exact count, but it works anyway, eh? There are probably more than twelve, but its only said once in the song, and has a catchy ring to it.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!


	2. Johnny's Girl

**Parodied Song:** _Jesse's Girl_, by Rick Springfield.

: -: -: -: -: -: -: -: -: -:

Johnny has a face

That everyone knows.

I've never liked him before,

But lately something's changed,

Making me want him more.

This ain't too hard to define,

Johnny's now a hottie

And I wanna make him mine.

Oh, I'm watching him with my eyes,

And lovin' him in that body

I'm dreamin' of him holding me,

Holding me in his arms, late

Late at night.

O-o-h, I wish I was Johnny's girl

I wish I was Johnny's girl

Where can I find another man like that?

What do I have to do?

What do I need to do,

To get another man like that?

You know I start to swoon,

When he starts sweet.

I wanna tell him that I love him,

But it seems an impossible feat.

I'm not satisfied to watch him with my eyes,

And love him that body.

Not satisfied with dreams of him holding me.

Not satisfied with dreams of me being his girl.

Being Johnny's girl.

O-o-h, Johnny's girl,

I wish I was Johnny's girl

Where can I find another man like that?

What do I have to do?

What do I need to do,

To get another man like that?

I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time

Wondering what he doesn't see in me.

I've been funny,

I've been cool with the lines,

Ain't the way,

Love's supposed to be?

If I can't have him, tell me,

Where I can I find another man like that?

A man that'd make me feel like I would if I was...

Johnny's girl.

I wish I was Johnny's girl,

I wish I was Johnny's girl,

I wanna be Johnny's girl.

Where can I find another man like that?

What do I have to do?

What do I need to do,

To get a man like Johnny

O-o-h, Johnny's girl,

I wish I was Johnny's girl

Johnny's girl

I wanna be,

I wanna be,

Johnny's girl.


	3. Bootstrap's Boy

**Song Parodied** _Stacey's Mom, _by…good question. I've completely forgotten.

-o0o-

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

Bootstrap can I sail over, soon and fast? ((Soon and fast))

We can hang around by the main mast. ((Hang by the mast))

Did your son get back from rescuing Liz? ((Rescuing Liz))

Is he there, or is he trying to avoid my kiss? ((Avoid my kiss))

You know, I'm not the little girl that I used to be,

I'm all grown up now, Billy, can't ya see?

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on,

He's all I want, and I've waited for so long.

Bootstrap, can't you see, you just ain't the pirate for me.

I know he is with Liz,

But I'm in love with Bootstrap's boy.

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

Bootstrap do you remember when I washed your decks? ((Washed your decks))

Your son came out, with just his pants on. ((His pants on))

I could tell he liked me from the way he stared, ((The way he stared))

And the way he said, "You missed a spot over there." ((A spot over there))

I know you think it's just a fantasy,

But since Liz hit on Jack, your son could use a lass like me!

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

He's all I want, and I've waited for so long.

Bootstrap can't you see, you just ain't the pirate for me.

I know he is with Liz,

But I'm in love with Bootstrap's boy.

Bootstrap's boy has got it goin' on

He's all I want, and I've waited for so long.

Bootstrap can't you see, you just ain't the pirate for me.

I know he is with Liz, but oh oh

((I know he is with Liz))

I'm in love with ((Bootstrap's boy oh oh))

((Bootstrap's boy oh oh))

I'm in love with Bootstrap's boy…


	4. Pirate:rita:ville

**Parodied Song: **_Margaritaville, _by Jimmy Buffett.

-o0o-

Listenin' to Mom yell,

Not making me feel all that well,

Hurtin' my head,

Lying' out on my bed.

Sayin' that I'm sick,

Before getting right to work on my new _Pirates _fanfic.

I've run away again to _Pirate-rita-ville._

Searchin' for Jack's missing bottle-a-rum.

Some people say Liz threw it away,

But I know – It's nobody's fault.

Don't know the reason,

Lost every basketball game this season,

But there's a book back at home,

Full of pirates, rum, and the ocean,

And soon I'll be goin'

Away to a brand-new time zone.

I've run away again to _Pirate-rita-ville._

Searchin' for Jack's missing bottle-a-rum.

Some people say Liz threw it away,

Now I think –Maybe it's the monkey's fault.

I exploded my sodapop,

Sprayed out all over my top,

Had to leave the fun early,

To get out the stain,

But I got _Pirates 2 _today,

And soon the TV will play,

The DVD that keeps me a little sane.

I've run away again to _Pirate-rita-ville._

Searchin' for the hot Sparrow and Turner,

Some people say Liz chased 'em away,

But I know –It's Beckett's bloody fault.

Yes, some people say Liz chased 'em away,

But I know –It's Beckett's bloody fault…


	5. Pirate Jingle Bells

**Song Parodied:** …Oh, please! This is Jingle Bells _Pirate Style_, y'all! Enjoy it!

-o0o-

Sailing on the sea,

On a ship so dark and black,

O'er the waves we flee,

We're never looking back!

-----------

Pass the rum around

Drink it through the night,

When morning comes, it can't be found,

Not a drop of rum in sight!

------------

Oh, jingle bells, Pintel smells,

Ragetti lost his eye.

Barbossa's back and he's alive,

But Jack Sparrow shouldn't die, hey!

Oh, jingle bells, Pintel smells,

Norrington's passing gas,

Jack and Liz aren't together,

And Beckett can kiss my ---drums---

---------------

A day or two ago,

I thought I'd climb the mast.

But the wind started to blow,

Lost my balance, fell real fast,

And landed on Sparrow, hey!

-------------

Oh, jingle bells, Pintel smells,

Ragetti lost his eye.

Barbossa's back and he's alive,

But Jack Sparrow shouldn't die, hey!

Oh, jingle bells, Pintel smells,

Norrington's passing gas,

Jack and Liz aren't together,

And Beckett can kiss my---drums---


	6. When the Kraken Blow

Song Parodied: _**Volcano**_**, by Jimmy Buffett. A dumb song, and since no one knows the tune, I say make one up and sing the words aloud! Have a great weekend!**

Now, I don't know, I don't know; I don't know where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow

Let me say it now

I don't know, I don't know; I don't know where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow

-o0o-

Bugger, it's movin' under me.

Tentacles moving with the sea.

Kraken's mouth opens and I see the sky.

Oh God, pretty soon I'm gonna fly.

-o0o-

Do you hear me now?

I don't know, I don't know; I don't know where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow.

-o0o-

My mind say to me,

"Mate, you better watch your feet.

It's gonna spit you out on the spot."

Oh God, Kraken spit me out not!

-o0o-

Do you hear me now?

I don't know, I don't know; I don't know where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow.

-o0o-

No time to count what I'm worth.  
'Cause I just left the planet Earth.  
Where I go, I hope there's rum.  
Not to worry, mate, it soon come.

-o0o-

I don't know, I don't know; I don't where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow.

-o0o-

I don't know, I don't know; I don't know where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow.

-o0o-

But I don't want to land at Jones' feet;

I don't want to land out in sea;  
I don't want to land on no place where he and I will meet.  
I don't want to land where I can't be free.

-o0o-

I don't know where I'll be  
But don't put me near the lass that killed me

-(can't promise not to be angry)-

Please don't spit me in Beckett Territory.

-o0o-

Do you hear me now?

I don't know, I don't know; I don't know where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow.

-o0o-

Do you hear me now?

I don't know, I don't know; I don't where I'm a gonna go

When the Kraken blow.

-o0o-

When the Kraken blow…

When the Kraken blow…


	7. One Little Corset

**Song Parodied:** _One Little Slip,_ by the BareNaked Ladies.

_This song is dedicated to **Saya Ragnarok**, who requested this song be parodied. This chapter's for you, mate! Thanks for reading!_

* * *

It was a garment made for disaster;

Four draw-strings of _no-sirree._

It seems my happily ever after

Was happy this thing is off of me.

-o0o-

It was meant to be good fashion,

Not this huge, embarrassing mess.

I couldn't breathe and stood there gasping;

I assume you know the rest.

-o0o-

One little corset,

One little corset,

It was a garment made for torment

With a few fateful events.

-o0o-

I guess it probably was bad timing;

But I admit I don't regret it.

I was scared of your affection;

I didn't want to be wed to you.

-o0o-

It took a breath much deeper than I could.

The laces were too tight for me; the grip pulling my lungs in two.

I stood nearer to the edge than I should;

And we all know what that can do.

-o0o-

One little corset,

One little corset,

It was a garment made for torment

With a few fateful events.

-o0o-

I get the feeling I won't rest

Until I don't have to dress

In the one piece of clothing that begun this entire mess.

-o0o-

They'll forget about wearing a corset

When I tumble of the wall.

On me they'll never force it

After my terrifying fall.

-o0o-

It was meant to be good fashion,

Not this huge, embarrassing mess.

I couldn't breathe and stood there gasping;

I assume you know the rest.

-o0o-

One little corset,

One little corset,

It was a humble little stumble

With a big ungraceful…

-o0o-

One little corset,

One little corset,

It was a garment made for torment

With a few fateful events.


	8. Ladies Love Pirate Boys

**Author's Note One:** Just one little thing, my friends. This. Song. Doesn't. Flow. The truthfulness of that makes me flinch. I hope you make it to the end alive, so you can read another (hopefully better) song parody soon.

**Disclaimer:** Nothing witty here to say…. So, "Ladies Love Country Boys" belongs to Trace Adkins. I want to thank everyone who will read this anyway, even if they don't know this song. I love you all!

**Author's Note Two:** Just a few songs left, folks! I've already written the very last song parody, and I'll post it just before Christmas (yes, it is a Christmas carol!), and thus end our ride there, beginning and ending with a beloved carol.

**Moony that Chick in Black…** I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry I couldn't parody "Teenagers" for you! I don't listen to MCR, but I did look up that song. I couldn't do it. I could barely make sense out of the song, but that's just my own stupidity. I'm just not a My Chemical Romance girl. I'm really sorry!

* * *

"**Ladies Love Pirate Boys"**

(This is for all you sophisticated ladies out there)

She grew up on land, in a civilized mansion;

Daddy wore a wig, servants did everything.

Propriety, dresses, forced to be a lady.

She still wasn't free even after graduation;

Sent her overseas for a higher education.

Put her on the right track to be a housewife.

-xXx-

But now she's coming home to visit,

Holding the hand

Of a wild-eyed boy

With a sailor's tan.

-xXx-

And she's climbing on the mast of his captain's ship;

Sailing over seas, yellin', "Hoist the colours!"

They raised her up a lady,

But there's one thing they couldn't avoid:

Ladies love pirate boys.

(You know its true)

-xXx-

Yeah, you know momma's and daddy's want better for their daughters;  
Hope they'll settle down with a commodore or a governor;  
In their clean town, ball gown, hand-me-down royalty.

They never understand  
Why their princess falls  
For an old, faded bandana  
and a drunken, slurred drawl.

And she's climbing on the mast of his captain's ship;  
Sailing over seas, yellin', "hoist the colours!"  
They raised her up a lady,  
But there's one thing they couldn't avoid:  
Ladies love pirate boys.

You can train 'em;  
You can try to teach 'em right from wrong…  
But it's still gonna turn 'em on!

And she's climbing on the mast of his captain's ship;  
Sailing over seas, yellin', "Hoist the colours!"  
They raised her up a lady,  
But there's one thing they couldn't avoid:  
Ladies love pirate boys.

They love them pirate boys;  
Ooooooh yeah  
It's that sailor thing, you know….

-xXx-


	9. My Pearl

**Author's Note: **This is up a bit sooner than I wanted to post it, but I had to do something in honour of the DVD release of AWE! Are you all as excited as I am?! Finally, we can own all three Pirates! EEEEEEEEEH!

**Disclaimer:** The song is "My Girl", by the Temptations. Be jealous. The new rendition of this lovely song is from Jack's POV. Yes, sir!

**Author's Note Two:** I'm terribly, terribly sorry, my friends, but I'm not going to be doing anymore song requests; I hate that I only did one on recommendation, but I guess that's how that goes…. Anyway, this is the second to last chapter. The very last one will be posted a little closer to Christmas. Can you guess the carol?

* * *

"**My Pearl"**

I've got sunshine  
On a cloudy day.  
When it's cold outside,  
I've got the month of May.

Well, I guess you'll say  
What can make me feel this way?  
My Pearl. (My Pearl, my Pearl)  
Sailin' on my Pearl. (My Pearl)

She's got me, Captain Jack,

And all the ships envy her,

Barbossa had her once

But I got her back.

Well, I guess you'll say  
What can make me feel this way?  
My Pearl. (My Pearl, my Pearl)  
Sailin' on my Pearl. (My Pearl)

Ooooh, Hoooo.

Hey, hey, hey.  
Hey, hey, hey.

I don't need no money,  
Fortune or fame.  
I've got all the riches, baby,  
One pirate can claim.

Well, I guess you'll say  
What can make me feel this way?  
My Pearl. (My Pearl, my Pearl)  
Sailin' on my Pearl. (My Pearl)

I've got sunshine  
On a cloudy day.  
When it's cold outside,  
I've got the month of May;

Sailin' with my Pearl...


	10. I Want a Jack Sparrow for Christmas

**Author's Note:** Here it is, y'all! THE END! It's been a fun ride, everyone, and I'd like to thank all my readers and reviewers who paid attention to my little collection of silly songs! I'd name you all if I could, but I'm in a hurry this Christmas Eve, and I'm sure you are too! Just know you are, and know that I'm grateful!

**Disclaimer:** For the last time, NO!

**Author's Note: **Have a happy holiday!

* * *

"**I want a Jack Sparrow for Christmas**"

I want a Jack Sparrow for Christmas;

Only a Jack Sparrow will do.

Don't want a Will, or a dinky stinky Lizzie!

I want a Sparrow to play with and keep busy!

-o0o-

I want a Jack Sparrow for Christmas;

I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?

He doesn't have to use any sticky icky glue;

Just tempt him with some rum,

That's the easy thing to do!

-o0o-

I can see me now on Christmas morning,

Creeping down the stairs.

Oh, what joy and what surprise

When I open up my eyes

To see my pirate hero standing there!

-o0o-

I want a Jack Sparrow for Christmas

Only a Jack Sparrow will do!

No blacksmithses, or wig-wearing commodores,

I only like...pirate captainses—

And pirate captains like me too!

-o0o-

Mom says that he would run away, but then

I know that I'd just capture him again.

There's lots of space for him

In the room across from mine;

I'd feed him there and water him there and he would be just fine!

-o0o-

I can see me now on Christmas morning,

Creeping down the stairs.

Oh, what joy and what surprise

When I open up my eyes

To see my pirate hero standing there!

-o0o-

I want a Jack Sparrow for Christmas

Only a Jack Sparrow will do.

No blacksmithses, or wig-wearing commodores,

I only like pirate captainses—

And pirate captains like me too!

-o0o-

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!


End file.
